excerpt from "With A Grain Of Sand" Impromptu Insanity Zine. I explained the meaning of the album title 'Impromptu Insanity' to my dear friend Hector in Boise over a cup of coffee (probably in my case my third or fourth). The name came to me while riding my bike around town in the "what the fuck am I going to call this album" faze of production. My on the spot explanation to Hector's inquiry was answered in a much more appropriate coffee agitated clarity. Trying to recall the exact words is, of course, not going to happen here, so I will give you the impromptu explanation of 'Impromptu Insanity'
Let's start by saying the line between being insane or creative has never been a very distinct one. I am not talking about clinical insanity, but just when somebody is just 'off', or 'out there', like 'hey that kids missing some screws!'. Basically whether or not you are insane or creative comes down to what it is that you are creating, but most of all how it is received by an audience. Some artists have been persecuted, ridiculed, and even killed for their ideas which, years later, were sometimes seen as groundbreaking and extremely important works of expression. A main reason leading to the persecution of provocative and innovative artists is that the audience doesn't want or seek change in their own thoughts or ideas.
Expression and creativity can take a lot of frustration, a lot of it coming not only from others but from yourself. Your own expression might become something you will never be completely satisfied with. Trying to express a feeling or an idea close to your heart and have others feel the same feeling with complete emotional clarity seems sometimes like an almost impossible thing to do. There also is never a masterpiece to many artists, and this can lead to a perpetual feeling of inadequacy with ones own artistic abilities. This feeling of inadequacy makes some people give up on their ability to create, which is terrible because everybody has the amazing potential to express and share the things they have learned in life through music, art, writing, etc..
When it comes to your own self-conscious hinderances, it's important to know that you are most likely going to be your own hardest critic. I believe that the ability to express oneself is one of the most therapeutic and constructive progressions you can make in life. It is important to not get caught up comparing yourself to other peoples unique artistic abilities though, because your own limits and progressions are your own.
Being creative or artistic doesn't mean you have to change the world or thousands of peoples opinions on something. You don't need to be John Lennon to write a song that you are proud of, or that your friends enjoy. The important thing is to challenge yourself within your own ability of expression.
Impromptu insanity is the on the spot bursts of creative insight. Impromptu insanity and impromptu creativity are synonymous since there can't be a good way to divide the two, because they are dependent on the reaction other people have toward your own individual creation. Impromptu insanity is when you reach a new plateau of what you thought was impossible for yourself to reach, it's when you feel you have reached your own unique version of creative genius. It is important to know that your own creativity is YOURS and if it is TRULY sincere, you shouldn't have to feel self-conscious by your own or other peoples judgments toward it. As long as your own emotional expression is honest you should be able to feel confident and sincere with it (easier said than done I know).
Think about it like this, you could make the most beautiful song ever made on the planet, but if you only play it to a couple of self-absorbed jerks nobody else would ever know or hear your awesome song and you yourself probably will think it isn't worth a damn.
Impromptu insanity isn't consistent, it's like a creative epiphany and everybody on earth has awesome ideas in some way, shape, or form.
I believe that life is never anything but constant creative expression. Just like how we usually don't think at all before we say something to somebody, we usually just think it out loud. The best jokes and most creative forms of expression are always on the spot without taking time to mull it over. Life is like a constant improvised jazz solo, only we are all playing our part at the same time.
Impromptu Insanity is complete clarity and confidence in the moment. It can help to teach you to embrace even the most intense and terrifying parts of yourself. Impromptu insanity can teach you that life is impossible to control or predict, but with confidence and persistence you can grow beyond your own boundaries when you aren't worried about the responses others have about your own fucking awesome ability to express yourself.